With My Head in the Clouds

These are quiet, clouded-in, creative days interrupted only by driving down the mountain to take someone to church, to go to the library, to get something at the store. Today I am taking my son to a class, otherwise, we would stay here. The house is in a cloud. One kid is reading, another has been watching endless video demonstrations of science experiments. Now the video is off and he is building an electrical circuit with batteries and wires and light bulbs.

Hello sparrow, help yourself.

 These days offer the kind of solace that makes me want to create, to learn. I’ve been fascinated by birds lately. I picked up a nature guide from the newly remodeled Malibu Library last week and I have been pouring through it, trying to find our little feathered friends. So far I have identified a cute little house finch pair and a flock of California quail, several red-tailed hawks, as well as sparrows and blue jays. I suppose it is a simple interest, not one that will solve humanity’s problems, but it just makes me happy to see them and know what they are. They are beautiful.

I’ve also been learning about gardening. I joined a CSA co-op, so I have been getting fresh organic fruit and vegetables delivered to the door every other Friday morning. I’m not sure it is the best “deal” in the world, but I get some kind of simple pleasure out of discovering what is in the box and finding new recipes for new foods. I’ve discovered chard and leeks and rekindled my love of lentils and quinoa. Those don’t come in the box; they just seem to go so well with farm-fresh vegetables. I read an inspiring excerpt from Scott Jurek’s upcoming biography about his career in long-distance trail running and becoming a vegan. It was interesting, maybe even compelling, but I love cream in my coffee, butter on my toast, salmon of all kinds and an occasional sushi splurge. I think I could give up most other meats, although I might have to make an exception for my brother’s carnivorous food truck delights. His dry-aged burgers from The Flatiron Truck are about the best thing beef can ever hope to be.

The brave little tomato plant.

I also decided to be brave and try gardening again. I reclaimed part of the yard and pulled grass out of one small terraced section. I tilled the ground, added a little compost and planted some green pepper seeds. I don’t have much faith that little green spouts will actually rise from the earth. But I am going to at least give it a try. So far the tomato plant I bought the same day has been flourishing, so maybe the container garden will at least be successful. I’m hoping that the deer won’t venture up the back porch to the container garden area anyhow. If they do, I hope I am there with a camera.

I have also been making bread, not with a mix or a bread maker, but from flour and water and yeast – all kneaded out on the kitchen counter. It started out as a “school” project with my 9-year-old son. But it was fun and rewarding and somehow cheaper than buying good bread in the store; so it has become my latest quest to create better bread. So far I have worked with what I have on hand, whole wheat and white flour, but yesterday I bought rye flour at the store and I plan to make a good rye bread later today.

Now that I am recovered from the marathon I have been running up a private road behind our house. It’s an 800 foot incline through a private neighborhood that ascends to the very top of the mountain where there is a spectacularly rewarding 360 degree view of Point Dume to the north, the port of LA to the south, the entire Valley to the east and of course, Catalina Island and the ocean to the west. The view still amazes me. Even after dozens of treks to the top, I still feel amazed and privileged to be there and have gotten their by my own feet from my front door. I like the feeling of running for the pure pleasure of it. Training for a race has it’s purpose, but for now I am just enjoying running for running. Maybe that is the theme of this season, learning for learning sake, running for running, appreciating the gift of being present.

Not planted or planned, these iris beauties established themselves behind the trash cans. Just because ...

House Under Feathers

Flying high at our house on the top of the world

Life at the Malibu house has been a surreal experience in so many ways. Seven months ago we traded the whine of city buses pulling up to the bus stop in front of our apartment for the sounds of birds chirping. Sometimes it’s quiet enough to hear the swoosh-flap of a large raven or red-tailed hawk sweeping overhead. But today the world has been especially quiet. This morning I paused near our dinning room window and watched a red headed bird sing. I hear him all the time, but today I could actually see his throat vibrating and his tiny beak opening. A little lady bird joined him and they flew away. It’s that kind of place up here.

When we first considered moving to this house, I was a little nervous about all the details. It would mean a long work commute for Kip, and the kids and I would have to re-evaluate all of our extra-curricular activities. I worried that we might have a difficult time finding a roommate to rent out the bottom half of the house. I started praying about it. I really wanted God to speak to my soul about whether or not we should move out here. Instead of a simple yes or no, I felt that still small voice ask, “What does Piuma mean?”

Piuma is the name of our road. I didn’t know what it meant then, so I Googled it. It means “feather” as in plumage. That meant something to me. All summer, as we were going through the somewhat painful process of trying to sell our condo and prepare to leave life as we knew it behind, I was meditating on Psalm 91. I memorized it and had the kids do the same.

The word feather immediately reminded me of the imagery of Psalm 91, “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. … (v 4) He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.” The whole Psalm is a beautiful promise of God’s protection. When I realized that Piuma meant feather I had a strong sense that God was providing a place of refuge and rest for us, and that we would have the opportunity to offer that refuge to others. So far that is exactly what our experience at this house has been.

The last few weeks have been especially busy with friends visiting. First we had a family of camping refugees who called one Saturday night, just before a rainstorm to see if wanted company. Heavy clouds surrounded the house in a complete white-out and they ended up staying a couple days until the torrential rain ceased and road crews cleared the fallen boulders from the main road. We even made s’mores on the kitchen stove.

My dear friend Heidi and our kids

Then my Uncle Jim, Aunt Candy and their two daughters came for a night. They live in Idaho now, so my daughter was especially happy to see them again. She is almost the same age as their younger daughter, even though she is my first cousin.

The cousins

My brother Tim, his wife Heather and their darling little baby also came out to see our Idaho family. Tim is an amazing chef. He made a bunch of spinach turn into some kind of amazing Asian fusion thing, and he even liked my grilled salmon, despite his earlier skepticism about marinating salmon. Tim runs his own food truck in LA’s hotly competitive food truck industry and has come to make a name for himself in high quality steak from a truck.

Cooking and cooing ... so talented.

Kip was worried I wouldn't give her back.

The youngest cousin of my generation holds the youngest cousin of my kid's generation. Aunt Candy offers a hand.

Cousin A with Cousin S

Reading to a new friend

Later that weekend our dear friends from our West Virginia college days came by with their two kids. Once again we were “clouded” in and didn’t mind the excuses to just relax and catch up on the years that have passed since we spent any time together.

This week I invited a group of homeschooling families that I know from Community Bible Studies up for an Easter brunch/play date. It was the first time most of them had been there, and after the shock of how long our windy mountain road drive is, I think they had a great time. I always like taking pictures of the kids playing together. I think it is funny how the uninitiated always worry that homeschooled kids are lonely, friendless and unsocialized. My experience has been that homeschooled children excel at co-operative play. I love to watch how quickly they work together as a multi-age group and come up with creative solutions. I wish ALL children got the luxury of playing more.

They all love Hex bugs.

Random homeschooled teens and tweens. I say "random" because they like that word. There is nothing random about these guys.

Flying high on the rope swing.

Someone is getting fancy on the rope swing. He was fine. No injuries today.

Back in LA: Catching up on the Sweet Simplicities of Summer

We are back in LA, and there is still so much to blog about from our trips, but I'm hoping to catch up over the next few days.

I'm giving the kids a "real" break from school work, meaning I'm not asking them to do any classes, assignments, worksheets or lessons. But since most of our "school" is life learning anyhow, I'm assuming we will have a rich unschooling kind of summer.

So far our 9-year-old son has spent alot of time playing Monopoly with his stuffed animals and with us. Last night we finished the first game ever. I remember playing Monopoly alot with my sister when I was about that age. The game would go on forever and never finish. I always thought that was a tragedy, but actually playing out an entire game last night made me realize a truth about Monopoly, and maybe Capitalism in general: it's just not fun to play it all the way out. The richer the rich get and the poorer the poor get, the less fun it is for everyone. Even the rich guy felt bad cleaning everyone out.

We had a nice little discussion about socialism and capitalism. Our daughter suggested we play "Socialism" instead, but we all decided that would get really boring, really fast. It made me think of the Ungame. Is that still around? I guess so, since I just found an Amazon link. LOL. The cover looked different in the 70s and 80s when our family played it.

I'm planning to take the kids to the beach every week this summer with our homeschooling group. Our son may go to a Cub Scout day camp or a Vacation Bible School. And our daughter wants to go to camp with a friend's church youth group. But we really don't have alot planned for the next couple of months, and I am really kind of happy about that.

Simplicity is good.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

I’m sure 2011 will be a good one, and if last year is any indication; it will be gone in a blink. Sometime this weekend I’d like to revisit the best pics I have from 2010 and do a little photo recap of the year. There have been so many gaps in my blogging.

I could write several entries on the last month alone: Christmas parties, Hollywood Toy Giveway, Christmas, our stay-at-home vacation, go carts with the kids, skiing with the family for the first time – riveting reading I’m sure.

But it’s not really for the readers. I have learned by now that blogging is for me to stop and recognize how wonderful our life is. But the problem is I have to take a pause from life to stop and write. And while it is easy to snap pictures, it’s harder for me to find time to write about them. Even to write this I have had to separate myself from the lively family action in the kitchen/living room and sequester myself in the back bedroom. Lonely is the life of a writer.

But my life isn’t too lonely and maybe that is why I am not really a writer.

But today is New Years and I have a guilty stack of half consumed journals, all started on New Years day years past, so I won’t waste any paper with this virtual, everyone-can-see journal entry. But I'll throw out some New Years resolutions.

Writing: This year I do want to write more. I want to finish the screenplay I started last January and I want to finish it by the end of this month, at least the first draft. And then I want to rewrite it a few times. I also want to journal offline more and blog more. Life is going by fast and I have so many thoughts on the moment that are gone the next moment.

Reading: I want to read a nonfiction book a month. I am going to give myself a little grace and include audio books that I listen to, because I seem to have a difficult time finishing books that sit beside my bed and help me fall asleep. But I won’t include the books I read the kids. There are too many of those.

BTW – right now I am reading our son Archimedes and the Door of Science and it is really fun. We took a break during our Christmas vacation, but I will read it to him every day when Kip goes back to work and our homeschool officially goes back in session next week.

Bible: I’m going to read it through this year. I haven’t tried to do that in a while.

Organization: We have lived in this apartment 5 and a half years and there are now multiple closet and drawer spaces that need to be organized and decluttered. I’m going to take one area on each week until I get it done. I’m going to start with the cabinet under my bathroom sink – next week.

Running: I want to run a marathon, probably the LA Marathon in March if I can keep up with the Students Run LA running schedule. They are pretty aggressive and it’s hard to make that much time for running, but on the other hand I can’t imagine running a marathon without the months of training. So I guess I had better just lace up and get out there. I'll start that tomorrow morning.

Spanish: I’m going to make a better effort to learn this year. We set up Rosetta Stone on the computer again and I’m going to try and use it for half an hour every day – on average – because somedays it is just hard to do everything.

So those are my thoughts for this next year. I'm sure it will be a good one. 

Open Window Distractions

I start most "school" days with a plan, but we have a problem.

We are distracted.

Window staring is the worst.  I personally have a highly evolved skill of staring, not only out the window, but at the ceiling and even at an actual blank wall for minutes, even hours, if inspired.

I'd like to claim that I'm involved in Zen-like peaceful meditation, but the opposite is true. My mind is not empty. I am not still. I am racing with thoughts, ideas, scenarios for apocalyptic movies starring ME as the hero. My overactive imagination is so busy that it shuts down my body and I stare.

My kids are the same.

Every open window is a distraction. Birds are interesting. So are the cars that drive by.

And nothing evokes the magic of the Great Outdoors like actual “school” work. Math worksheets entice squirrels to come up to our porch, draw their little rodent paws across their chests in an eerily human posture and whisper with their shiny black eyes, “Feed me, please.”

We feed two neighborhood squirrels: a skinny, formerly saber-toothed she-squirrel named “Toothy” and “Bruce” a big, fat he-squirrel whose cropped tail makes him look more like a beaver.

We feed Toothy because she is our walking, scurrying miracle. When she arrived several weeks ago she was nearly starved to death. She had patchy fur, a sparse twitching tail and a grossly misshapen face from two odd, overgrown teeth protruding from her lower jaw. She looked like a harelip squirrel.

So the kids and I talk about harelips and wonder if the condition occurs in squirrels. We Googled Smile Train and watched tear-jerking videos of compassionate doctors repairing harelips in third-world children. We talk about health care in third-world countries.

We talk about how people are doing small things to make a big difference in other people’s lives globally. We discuss the great questions of civilization.

And then it's lunch time and Bruce comes around.

We don’t actually like feeding Bruce. He is a fat little guy who bullies Toothy into giving up her factory-shelled walnuts. Sometimes we throw him a nut or two to distract him while our little squirrel nourishes herself.

Toothy is doing better now. She doesn’t have to cock her head to one side to painfully choke down her nuts. Her superfluous teeth fell out, and she almost looks normal now.

But the kids wonder where she lives.

What does her nest look like?

We look in the palm trees. We Google “where do squirrels live.”

My daughter disappears into her room to finish her lesson on negative and positive numbers --  added and subtracted, multiplied and divided.

It sounds easy enough until I have to explain how a negative number divided by a negative number becomes a positive number – every time. It is not enough to know that it happens. She has to know why and in what real life situations. I didn’t buy the teacher’s guide.

It comes down to a comparison with “I don’t have no cookies,” and she accepts that for now. I return to focusing on my son and his times tables. He has gone to wash his hands and returns 10 minutes later with a bubble delicately balanced between his thumb and forefinger. He is grinning.

“Look Mom!”

He explains how he did it.

I try to listen and not be irritated because I really had planned on him learning his times tables, maybe just one of them, this afternoon.

I had also planned on writing a little this afternoon. But of course, five minutes into the writing project my thoughts are interrupted by something important like a sudden need to fold laundry or update Facebook with a pithy little status about feeding saber-toothed squirrels.

I know that planning and taking deliberate steps toward a goal yield success. So I worry that all this distraction is hampering my children’s overall education.

There are those comforting unschooling “folktales” about children who follow their passions and arrive in adulthood with their creative energy and self motivation uninhibited.

But then there are also people who can’t keep a job because they are bored and distracted. Somehow I am hoping this is different.

Currently my favorite absolution on distraction comes from the highly imaginative writer, Norton Jester, who wrote The Phantom Toolbooth.

Apparently he wrote that book when he was supposed to be working on another project. Ironically his little escape became his greatest work. He has been quoted as saying “I find the best things I do, I do when I'm trying to avoid doing something else I'm supposed to be doing.”

So yes, we never get as much done as I plan. But I’m hoping that my kids schooling experience is better because of the distractions and not in spite of them.

Three hours later, my daughter returns from the bedroom, half-finished math assignment in hand.

“Mom, I just wrote the best song!”

More Distractions

And now more distractions to entertain you and keep you from what you should be doing.

He was suppose to be coping the paragraph from the whiteboard behind him. I left him alone and found him like this 10 minutes later. It's a Cheerio map to the treasure.

What do you do when you find your kids and their friends walking on the wall?

You try it too!

How much time can you "waste" on time lapse photos of the electric trains in the night? When was bedtime suppose to be?

And since when does "clean up your toys," mean wash and dry the entire army?

And if all else fails, quick, find a tree and climb it before you get too old.

Summer Finally

Summer is finally here.
When I was a kid growing up in the South and the Midwest and everywhere in between, summer started in May. By June it was hot.
Southern California, especially the coastal area, seems to wait for the summer equinox, as if waiting for permission to distribute the summer weather.
But it is here.
Most of the neighborhood kids are out of school. Our homeschooling friends have begun their weekly meet up at the beach and the days are long enough to enjoy almost warm afternoon sails.

 Kip gave our son a surfing lesson Saturday afternoon.

Almost up

After taking several weeks off of "school" work for the weddings, family visits and travel, I decided it was in the kids' best interest to do a little summer school. If we don't do school for several weeks the kids actually seem a little bored.
So this past week we started having our two-hour summer school days. The kids spend an hour each on reading and/or writing and math.
I am picking our daughter's summer reading because I want to challenger her with reading and I'm hoping she will learn a little American history in the process. She just finished Hero Over Here and we had an interesting discussion about the Spanish Flu of 1918.
Our son is making slow, steady process with the reading. He still laboriously sounds out every word, and a single worksheet of 8 or 10 simple sentences takes him an exhausting 20 minutes with my help. I am walking the tight rope of gently pushing and helping, and backing off. If his brain is not ready to absorb the mechanics of reading yet, I don't want to push him. Reading is not the only way to learn about the world around you.

During our math time I played Countdown with our son. The game of dice involves basic operations -- adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing. It's a good warm up for math time, and I kind of tricked him into doing double the work by letting him roll for Doug the dog.
Our daughter picked up where we left off in her Singapore curriculum and discovered the fun of solving for the unknown angle using basic rules of geometry. She needed lots of help, but often figured out the answers before I did when she called me over to help her.
So far it has been a good start to summer.

Homeschooling by the Hour

Homeschooling styles differ family to family, and in our family, I should say year to year, week to week, maybe hour to hour.

We have homeschooled independently and with a charter school. I have followed curriculum and unschooled. We have tried Thomas Jefferson education, Susan Wise Bauer’s Well-Trained Mind method, Charlotte Mason ideas, and just about anything else that my friends have been excited about at one time.

And I have found that while I glean helpful strategies from each model, I can’t commit fully to any of them.

So I am more likely to describe myself as Sonlight inspired or somewhat unschooling. I admire people who follow the full Sonlight curriculum, or allow their kids a rich unschooling environment, but I know it doesn’t work for us.

And what does work is always changing.

Right now we are trying a method I developed based on Oliver DeMille's concept of "structuring time not content," and an article I read about a large homeschooling family who uses Leigh Bortin's Classical Conversation. My kids call it that "timer thing."

It goes like this: We set the kitchen time for an hour and focus on one subject during that hour. No more. No less. Well, less if you are little.

During the language arts hour I sit on the couch with my 8-year-old son and begin with a basic 5 to 10-minute grammar lesson. Right now we are using First Language Lessons by Jessie Wise. I think it was written for first and second graders, so we are moving through it pretty quickly, but he is learning basic things like the definition of a noun and the difference between a proper and a common noun.

Today he worked on memorizing the Mother Goose rhyme that goes … “Thirty days hath September.”

My 11-year-old daughter didn’t need to go through a lesson book like this. We discussed the parts of speech one afternoon while we were driving around in the car.

Then she got into Mad Libs and has never really wondered what a noun or verb was since then. At some point in the next year I would like to go through a more intensive study of grammar with her, but for now, it is not a priority. She is learning other things on her own.

When my son and I are finished with the language arts lesson, he reads a short phonics book or we look at a couple pages of his Explode the Code phonics book. Once we preview the phonics workbook he can work through it on his own.

Then he copies a few sentences and draws a corresponding picture if he wants to. We often use ideas from the Draw Write Now books. Since we started this his drawing and his handwriting have improved.

He is not reading anywhere near grade level, and I am still committed to not pushing, but we do work on it a little bit every day. When he is finished with his assignments he gets to play for the rest of the time.

During the language arts hour, my daughter reads from a biography or writes. Both of these are independent. I sometimes ask her to read to me. Sometimes we take turns reading a paragraph, especially if the reading content is difficult for her and she needs some encouragement.

During the writing hour she works on something she wants or needs to write. Sometimes it is a response about something she is reading. Most often it is for a speech she is preparing for her favorite homeschooling activity, Speaker’s Club.

She likes writing, and so I let her writing time be free for her to just write without my editing. It can be filled with creative spelling and no punctuation, but it's amusing for me to see how much her writing has improved this year simply by reading more challenging books and writing e-mails using a spell checker.

For the math hour I once again work with my son for the first 20 minutes or so.  We do math games, flash cards, etc. We also use the Singapore curriculum. Because he struggles to read instructions and the text in word problems, I sit with him and help him read.

My daughter tries to work through Singapore Math curriculum herself, and I help her when she needs assistance. She likes the challenge of working through it on her own, so as long as she is not staring at the wall, I try to leave her alone and let her figure it out.

She likes that there is a cap on how long math can take. If a lesson is particularly laborious, she is not obligated to complete it in one day. And if she flies through an easier lesson, she can go on and do the next one.

Reading, writing and math are the important core subjects that I think we need to purposefully schedule time to cover. But it is not a full picture of our educational experience. We take plenty of field trips. We listen to audio books. I read historical fiction to the kids every night. We watch historical and scientific documentaries. We do science experiments, art projects, etc.

If the hour-timer strategy is not working, sometimes I let the kids just play. Today my son got through his language arts lesson with me and came to me in tears after 15 minutes of “trying” to do his handwriting lesson. I told him to take a break and he has been building Lego models ever since.

Earlier in my homeschooling experience I would not have let my daughter get out of academic work to play, but I have learned to respect the power of play and imagination. Someday soon he will be able to read and write four sentences together without frustration. And someday, he won’t be quite so excited about building Lego models.

I'm Amazing

This weekend one of my friends introduced me as “one of those amazing people who homeschools her children.”

Amazing?

I offered an uncomfortable smile.

I have been in this conversation before, and for some reason I always freeze at this point. I sense a trap. My instinct is to say, “It’s really not that big of a deal, anyone can do it,” which is what I truly believe.

The problem with that bit of humble honesty is that it disarms the flattery with a subtle accusation. “You could homeschool if you wanted to…”

There is a strange tension between successful career women and educated women who choose to forgo employment to spend more time with their kids. It makes me uncomfortable because I think I could probably happily be either.

I admire women who are successful in their chosen careers. At times I envy them. But I don’t regret my life choices. I love my life. I’m happy. My kids are happy. My life is full.

But selfishly, I really want to be understood.

So this time, I ignored the undertones and responded with my best logic.
“Homeschooling is not that difficult.”

Some people think you have to be a certified teacher or something like it to homeschool, so I was not surprised that her defense was “Well, I just didn’t learn enough in college to homeschool.”

At this point in the conversation I should have perceived that she was convincing herself that she couldn’t homeschool because she didn’t want to homeschool. And I should have said something graceful about “it’s not for everyone,” which I do believe.

But instead I said something else that I believe.

“It doesn’t matter what you learned in college. I’ve learned more homeschooling than I did in college. I learn with the kids.”

Maybe I need people to understand that it is intellectually stimulating to be surrounded by children. It is not the same as being a 50s housewife, eternally ironing the man’s shirts.

But I guess it really doesn’t matter what people think. I should just accept the compliment.

I am constantly learning.

This afternoon I learned what it means to tessellate (Squares do. Circles don’t. Google it.) I also learned how Eli Whitney changed human history by more than just inventing the cotton gin. And incidentally, it only takes the space shuttle 90 minutes to orbit the Earth.

But more importantly, I got to be there when my daughter excitedly showed her brother a diagram in her science book of how “bees” see differently, specifically how they “see” flowers differently than humans. She asked me, “but how do scientists know what bees see?” My son looked the pictures over and said, “But who is right?”

They want to know the answers, of course, but the undertones of their questions amuse me too.

Her excitement doesn’t fully mask the skepticism that guides her learning style, “how do they know what bees see? Can they ask bees? Can they “see” inside bees heads?”

And his question, “who is right?” reflects his life stage. "Tell me what is right, Mom. Make it black and white and simple so I can know the rules and win this game of life."


On afternoons when we are home I like to read The Landmark History of the American People to the kids. It is a fascinating historical text. My daughter loves it when I read it to her, but it is just a little over my son's head.

Almost accidentally I discovered that my son remembers more of the story if he is playing while I'm reading. The Lincoln Logs seemed like a good tie in that day as I was reading about Western expansion, and it has somehow became a tradition. Today I read about how Eli Whitney set out to create a mechanized process for creating guns, to fortify America against the perceived threat of Napoleon, and incidentally created an entire system of mass production. It was exciting to see my kids understand how technology shapes history as much or more than wars. Why do we always teach history like it was a series of wars?

I'm not amazing. I just love having the time to enjoy learning with my kids.

Balancing Life

Never blog about being busy. It’s bad luck.

I don’t believe in luck, but if I did, I’d say boasting about being busy only tempts Fate to throw one wrench into the dancing chaos and stop the music. The juggling act is over. Things fall down.

When it comes to homeschooling, I have at least a couple self-destructive habits. One of them is asking too many people’s advice and trying to do what works for them, instead of being confident of what I’m doing and the things I have already found to be true.

It’s like drastically changing your running pattern because you read an article about a new injury-free stride. Sometimes you just have to run the way that works naturally and let your own body over time “learn” how to run.

About a week ago, just as the reality of our family commitments was beginning to sink in, I talked to a veteran homeschooler about how she balances academic school work with homeschooling activities – sports, scouting, clubs, volunteer work, music lessons, not to mention play dates and park time.

She said, “I don’t drive them anywhere until they do their work.”

Ok. No dessert until veggies.

I can do that.

I tried this hard-nosed approach and discovered that it made all of us miserable.

For one thing, I often have unrealistic expectations about what we “should” do and so when I hold the rest of our life hostage as incentive to complete math lessons and handwriting work, we don’t do anything but math lessons and handwriting work.

And I become a drill sergeant instead of a coach and facilitator. It makes me hate homeschooling.

After missing our weekly date with homeschoolers at the park last Monday, I mentioned how I was feeling to a friend who immediately offered to take the kids to the zoo the next day.

I went through the whole quandary of “should I let them go since I had already made a personal commitment to push through the curriculum this week?” or should I let them go to the zoo.

It should have been a no brainer. A trusted friend was offering an uncommon “day off” for me, and the kids were going to go to the zoo with the one homeschooling mom who knows more about animals than just about anyone I know.

Ok. Just go.

I took the day off and after getting a new pair of black heels at the brand new Target that just opened up around the block (I know … perhaps I am a little superficial and materialistic), had a lot of time to consider my expectations, our time commitments and why we are homeschooling.

I’m not particularly clear on what is the best balance for us with academics, social interactions and all of the natural learning opportunities around us. I come to this internal dialogue having been a homeschooled kid myself, knowing how much I would have enjoyed being a part of a homeschooling community. (We lived in rural Alabama when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and homeschooling was rare).

But I also expect my kids to be proficient enough in reading, writing, math and science to be able to go to college and pursue any life path they want. I want them to know and love history. I believe art and music is essential. Spending time reading and studying the Bible is also a huge part of our family life. So how to do it all?

I am not sure where the balance is. I’ll probably read this blog ten years from now and laugh and I’ll have lots of advice for younger moms with little kids.

But for now, here are a couple thoughts I have come up with this week.

1). It is very easy to push math and reading on a young child who is not ready. Allowing math and reading instruction to flow naturally out of everyday life is much more inspiring for kids. Delaying academics is in no way being "lazy."

2). As kids get older, if they are not squelched by all the “have-to-dos” in school life, they will find subjects, topics, projects, etc., that challenge them. They will rise to the occasion and learn more than you could have predicted.

These two thoughts probably reflect my DeMillian influence. But they do seem to be true in our house. I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts on this.

Speaking of the power of kids performing well when inspired and challenged .....

This is the hill she wanted to run. It took us ten minutes to gingerly walk down the steep steps.

And five and a half to run up! Ok, six for her. But she was a little mountain goat.

We reached the top of the hill, just in time to see the sun set into the Pacific and reflect on the city from downtown and Hollywood to the Santa Monica mountains. She loves going for a run with me these days.

How it all works

On Sunday Kip decided to give me a real lesson, white-board diagram and all, on how our camera works. Our "good" camera has been out of commission since August, and I was anxious to see how the new lens works. I love taking pictures, but the physics of how it works is challenging for me. So it was a good opportunity for me to model learning something difficult. (That is another Thomas Jefferson Education key point.)

So while I was learning how to use the camera, Kip was taking apart the sewing machine to figure out why it wasn't working. He and our son figured it out and here our son is explaining the inner workings to his sister, who is on the phone with a friend. It's a nice slice of life at our house, and if in a small way, it demonstrates how learning best works, each person challenging themselves to do something that is personally gratifying and even helpful to the family. We all learn from each other.