I’m feeling weird about blogging again.
It’s nothing new, just the same concerns and arguments all over again. The purpose, the need to have a blog, is something that I don’t actually understand, yet.
I am afraid to analyze it too much. If I need to write, why not keep a private journal, or one that only my closer family and friends have access to? Why can’t I just make stuff up and write fiction (not a blog of course)?
I am afraid I may be trying to clarify my identity….create my own reality show with me as the star and editor. This is who I am. Seriously, I’m 33, why am I still having an identity crisis.
Maybe it’s a middle child thing, a wife-of-the-rock-star thing.
Maybe I just like to write and the best material is all around me!
When I was thinking about starting a blog, I talked about it a bit obsessively around my friends. One of them complained that her friends’ blogs seemed like perfect little scrapbooks of family life. She said, “If you do it, make it real.” I took that to heart. It’s what I always wanted to read.
I have dozens of half written journals from the past 16 years or more. Journals I used for a few weeks and then quit. I’m not sure why I always started a new journal, maybe I would get one for a birthday or Christmas, or maybe I would buy one feeling I needed a new start. Anyhow, I have several of these.
When I reread them I’m struck with two thoughts 1) this is really great writing and I wish other people could read this and 2) OMG where do I hide these!
But I guess I’ve always believed that honesty brings healing.
I’m in process.
Your blog is one of your greatest gems ever. It's honest and provides a lot of insight into your heart and mind for those who care enough to read it. I like reading the entries that are driven by your thoughts and emotions more than the ones that are more chronological.. although those are nice too. You are an amazing writer. Don't give up! Everyone loves your blog!!
ReplyDeleteIdentity crises are perpetual. But I think they come up at certain predictable times. When children hit milestones, we do, too.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your blog -- of course I would because I like you, and it offers interesting insights.
No one *needs* a blog. But -- I agree with you that honesty brings healing.
Writing too personally can make others uncomfortable -- particularly people who know you. But it also makes for the most compelling reading.